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Quitting the dummy
June 15, 2014
So, I decided it was time for my daughter Sofia to quit (insert drum roll please)..."The Dummy"! (pacifier)
Now any mother who has weaned a child of one of these awful things know that like any addiction, this is not only quite a commitment for the parent/s but it is quite a process (for the child).
So its 7:45pm and I'm in my home office which is located downstairs beneath my daughters bedroom. Its really a great time to write about this really, why? Well, I don't have to try to recall any emotion, anxiety or trauma what so ever, because I'm experiencing it right now! (lol).
So how do you know when is the right time to take this step that ultimately will land you in an unpleasant, un wilful, potentially standard changing moment of weakness and or strengths, straight up crappy experience? Obviously the result is what we are after, and if it were easy, this would be a memory from from the easy days of the past. But its just not that easy..
I've come to realise that not only is this her addiction, but it is just as much a commitment and a big deal for the mummies and daddies too.. I mean, it is a magical little device after all... I sure do have a love hate relationship with the man who invented these amazing little things.. Yes that's right! A MAN invented these!!! What the bleep?!
A doctor named James Meacham invented the pacifier in 1902. Wow. (insert moment of silence)
Well this is my second time weaning a small human of these things. I found myself on a very important mission tonight at some points crawling on the floor checking EVERY surface, cupboard and hidey hole of the house to make sure that I haven't left any lying around, then I wasn't to cut the teat and throw them in the rubbish. I stood there and i looked at them, about to pick up the scissors, I walked over to one of my spots where i put things in an out of children's reach, secret mummy hidey hole, I hid them. What am i doing? why didn't i just cut it? By now, Sofia has gone to sleep, Is it her that needs this little thing so much? Is it really her at all? or am i the one that has the addiction after all?
My son, Isaiah who turns 5 in October has only been dummy free for just over a year (pfffft so embarrassing). I remember how hard it was to get him to go to bed and sleep without his beloved, his precious, well at least how hard it felt amongst all the hype. *Sigh*
After 3 days/nights I awoke to a completely new life. A dummy free life! It was such an achievement, of course occasionally I would find him sucking on a stray that would show up in the toy box, but the habit had been broken. He was a big boy now..
In summary, and as I write this for you to read, I am becoming more and more familiar with how it is much more a process for a parent then the child. Yes I will probably have to wake up a few times tonight to "manually" sooth my daughter (heaven forbid I might actually have to do something), yes there will be more nights ahead and how many I can not be sure of, but coming to this point and accountability for what in my mind had been a problem of the child that was "my job" to "fix her" has actually been a fear and insecurity of my own all along, puts me in a position of power to deal with this as a responsible mother.
Coming clean with myself, when it may be easier blame the child puts me back on an integral path of parenting.
So is there a right time? well who can really answer that?! We all know that saying "A mother knows best".. there is no right time in my opinion (and that's just what it is, an opinion) to make these types of decisions. Today I had no idea that tonight was going to be the night.
The words just kind of fell out of my mouth and here I am.
Let the journey began.