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Love is a creation
By Madeleine Lobsey 9th July 2014 www.madeleinelobsey.com
“Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” – Samuel Lover (Poet 1797-1868)
I think people deal with this question more than they ever know. It seems like such an impossible place to arrive at and life certainly doesn't lend itself towards it. I mean life is life and it has many swings and roundabouts. Then there's people, I mean surely if we didn't have to deal with people we would have a better shot.
Lately I have found myself questioning this very thing. I mean I think I am a good person and I certainly intend to be loving in all interactions, but then I find in my busy life (certainly the minimal sleep doesn't help) that I still get frustrated and even numb for large portions of my day.
I was very much a romantic who believed that I would "find love" or "love would find me" and then it would just be THERE! Like a rabbit out of a hat, once revealed, tangible. Over the past ten years I have discovered that love is a creation, a pure creation. I am the not the first to discover this, but I discovered it for myself. Not like a quote, or a hope or a dream, but a real discovery that continues to unfold each day. It is a view I chose to take of myself, others and life. SO I see it. I experience it and it is THERE, until it is not. And it shows up for me when it's not, no longer like some threat that I may never see it again, nor a burden that I have to be the one to create it, but like a gap or space for me to create into. Moment by moment, day by day.
I find my sense of self expanding every time I discover a new space to create love into, a new person, a new view of life previously unknown to me, even a culture or world that is revealed to me. My first human response is whatever is default, "I don't like that" or "I don't like them" or "I don't understand that" and I as I practice the art of creating and generating love I find myself more whole and complete and fundamentally satisfied with life. They key? It's active, very active and it's a choice. As my 4 year old daughter says "We love each other, we can always love each other, even when we are not together, even when we are mad at each other, we can love each other."
Your access to practising creating love
1: Each morning take a moment to generate love for yourself. Don’t wait to feel it and don’t listen to what your brain has to say about you. Just remind yourself you are human, then generate the experience of love for yourself.
2: Prior to interacting with someone, take a moment to generate love for that person. (Even the ones that you are sure are jerks or drive you crazy.) Continue to create love while you are interacting them.
3: Take at least one loving action a day. Do something for a colleague that you know they would appreciate, call a friend or family member and express your love of them. Do something nice for yourself and I don’t just mean a bit of retail therapy. Cook your favourite meal, or go to bed 30mins earlier rather than forcing yourself to stay up to watch pointless television. Look over old photos you love.
I would love to hear what you discover.
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